Sunday, February 19, 2012

Differences Between Generations - A Conversation With My Dad


I think our generation has made immense progress towards eliminating the idea of heteronormativity. Maybe it’s because our generation is increasingly liberal compared to previous generations, or maybe it’s because of the increasing presence of LGBT characters in the media, such as Glee and Modern Family, or maybe it’s because we have become more open to addressing the topic. The combination of these factors, I believe, have brought an awareness to our society, that there is not just male and female, heterosexuality and homosexuality, but rather a whole range in between. Although the change may be slow, I think what we really need is just time for people to understand these ideas. 

A personal example I have of the different ideologies of different generations is a conversation I once had with my dad. One night at dinner, we somehow got on the topic of homosexuality and although my dad and I get along really well and I love him a lot, there are some topics we disagree on, gay rights being one of them. Now, to preface this story, I have to explain that my dad was born and raised in Taiwan, in a conservative, traditional, religious Asian family. When he was a kid, the topic of homosexuality never came up; it was taboo, inappropriate, and disgusting. So as my dad got older, he adopted the same ideas. I, on the other hand, was born and raised in California at a time when I think people were starting to become more open to discussing these ideas. I made friends who identified with all different types of sexual orientations. I had a lot more exposure to these ideas, whether it is because of TV shows, movies, or friends. With these two opposing ideologies, I wanted to ask my dad why he felt the way he did about gays and lesbians because it was difficult for me to understand his viewpoint. So to try and express his opinions, my dad told me an analogy. He said, think about a race track, where there’s one road and one direction. Everyone’s expected to follow in the same direction, with the rest of the cars. Imagine, he said, if there were some cars going in the opposite direction. My dad asked how I would respond if I saw that happening. Wouldn’t I feel like those cars weren’t going in the right direction? He genuinely wanted to hear my opinion, so I told him, to me, I didn’t think of the cars going in the wrong direction as gays or lesbians who were going against the direction of societal norms. To me, they weren’t racing in the wrong direction on theses “tracks of sexuality,” I guess you could call them. To me, they were just racing on a different track. Not one that was inferior or wrong or negative. Just a different track. I was in no position to label what was wrong or right, nor did I think there was a right or wrong.

After lecture and discussion, I thought back to this conversation I had with my dad I realized that the ideas my dad was expressing (which I completely respect, because I believe that everyone has the right to their own opinions, regardless of whether they agree with mine) were ideas of heteronormativity. And that’s not to blame my dad for expressing this idea; that was the way he was raised and the ideas he personally developed based on society, his family, and religion as he was growing up. I guess what I’m trying to say is that our views on sexuality and gender are influenced by societal beliefs and norms, and vice versa. That maybe, we just need a little more time for people to truly understand that there really isn’t any right or wrong sexual orientation. What our society doesn’t need is to categorize and label people, but rather respect people and their personal decisions. After all, there’s a lot more to a person than just their sexuality. Eventually, I think we’ll reach that point of acceptance and understanding, in time.

I also wanted to include a YouTube clip of an interview of country singer Chely Wright, who talked about her experience about being lesbian, coming out, and the difficulties she faced telling her dad. The interview is with Ellen DeGeneres, who I LOVE by the way. I think she’s such an amazing, funny and kind person, and she really was a pioneer for starting the movement towards gay rights and awareness in our society, using her influence and power in the media. Enjoy!

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